I need to talk with some INFP’s out there because they may be the only people that can truly understand what is going on through my head right now.
I feel like a failure and a quitter. I feel like everyone has these expectations for me and I can’t fulfill them. I feel like I let my parent’s down. They probably expected me to be this smart and open person but that’s not me. I don’t think I have ever felt more stupid. I have never been able to open up to anyone.
There’s my little brother, being the son that my parents wanted me to be. Already has a great girl for him. I think that annoys me the most about her. I can’t find a flaw with this girl and I need to find something bad about her. My parents love her and say how great she is. My brother is growing up more and more each day.
And then there is me. I haven’t changed at all. I’m still the little boy scared of life. Still the little boy cut-off from the world up in his room with his headphones in and his computer on. I’m nobody.
Things I quit: basketball, baseball, gymnastics, karate, swimming, tennis, soccer, cross-country, school, potential relationships, etc.
I’m a failure/quitter.
Found you on the INFP tag.
I tried to write you a pm, but your askbox was messed up. So-
I guess these are just general things, I mean I don’t know you and stuff…
One thing you need to do is stop thinking so much about other people. Stop thinking about fulfilling others expectations of you.
What do you want?
What would you regret not having done on your deathbed?
There is no such thing as a perfect person. There is no wrong or right “way to be”. Everyone is different. And people appreciate different things. Failure isn’t bad! Really, don’t think of it as failure. “Failure” is experience, it doesn’t define you. It was just one thing that didn’t work out for you at that time. Maybe it was never your thing, maybe it wasn’t right for you then. It’s good to try things. But do it for your own sake. And don’t take everything too seriously. Baseball is just a sport, it’s supposed to be fun and you’re supposed to get something positive out of it. If you don’t, then try something else, it wasn’t your thing.
Focus on yourself. The past is always the same, but you can change how you think about it. The future, however, is open. Make it really YOURS.
You’re always in control of how you see yourself.
Try to be positive. Write a list of what you like about yourself. Focus on that. Accept who you are. Find people who accept you for who you are. Ignore negative opinions from the rest. And most of all, don’t imagine that others think badly of you, I know that’s typically INFP, but really, they might not even, and as I said, if they do, don’t let it define you. Life is never hopeless. Even if you don’t find that person now, doesn’t mean you never will. And maybe you’ll meet someone amazing you connect with and fall for, that’s great. (But don’t expect too much. A lot of times it doesn’t work out, but again, don’t see it as failure, don’t think that there’s somethng wrong with you and that it’s all your fault, see it as experience.)
Try something you would’t normally do. See how you like it. Talk to someone you wouldn’t normally talk to.
Remember that people in highschool age aren’t grown up yet, a lot of them are immature and insecure.
It gets better ;-P
And I know, failing your OWN expectations is a real blow to your self esteem. If you really want to succeed, try harder and don’t give up. Goals often change over time. That’s not a sigh of weak character, it’s because you change.
Don’t try to be normal. Be yourself. You’re the only one who can.
It means so much more when people like you for you.
Some quotes: “Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind”, and
"It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you’ve lived so cautiously, that you might as well not have lived at all." -J.K. Rowling
I didn’t mean to sound like a besserwisser, these are things that I try to remind myself of =)
I hope you found something useful in my ramblings ^_^
Have a great day!