and it went well!!!! She said she liked my voice and that I sing good and that she’d really like to have me in the class next year ^_^
However, I’m just a reserve since she’s already accepted people.
So… but she sounded hopeful? So I don’t know… but I hope!!! Because I really want this.
God… please let me be in the class, please…
I have an audition on Monday and I still have no idea what songs to sing. Panic! Everything’s happening at the same time, first stressing over the concerts we did this Wednesday, doing the concerts despite having a cold, the last minute plan B; rehearsing a song only the day before, people not being team players and having to carry their weight, now, the audition for Vocal Program, and I really should email the sheet music for the songs I’ll be doing to the School today. Auditioning on Monday, also organizing a music quiz the same day. Then going to Berlin at the end of the week which means packing and planning. And also I’m supposed to be working on the melody and lyrics for a band project, which I’m really not sure I should be doing, I can’t really write lyrics and I’ve never composed a song in my life that didn’t suck. Plus I still have some assignments left to do in Psychology, Civics, Swedish, English and Religion. Gaah!
Urg! I really don’t like my voice <.<
I thought I sang great at the concert, but then I listened to a YT recording and I sound awful :’(
I’ve just realized that I tend to pretend things are better than they are, in a way because I want them to be so much that I fool myself.
Paint a nicer picture of things.
Sometimes I think that I’m good at things I’m not really good at, just because I identify myself with that particular skill, and want it so badly to be who I am.
Sometimes, I say I’ll do things sooner than I really can, wanting myself to have serious discipline, but forgetting that I can’t be 100% all the time, I need time to relax or I go crazy. Plus, I can be a really escapistic person sometimes, and avoid things I should do. But I want to think I’m a person who’s awesome all the time, so I say “Sure, I’ll have that finished by next week, no problem!” while in reality, I probably won’t.
Urg…
So this is what I sound like =^_^=
Me singing Strange Machines by The Gathering…
This is a recording from a rehearsal for a concert we did later on =)
Blah, god I was nervous :/
And Anneke is so totally amazing singing this song, and I’m just me…
Not perfect, but I’m still kinda proud. I think I sing a bit shaky though.
Really proud of the guys and girl in my band ^_^
It was the first time I ever did something like this, and the first time I sang on stage with a band.
Oh, and it starts with some atmospheric noise, guitarist had a moment of inspiration there…
(Source: youtube.com)
Why is it so hard sometimes to write letters? I know sort of what I want to write, but I haven’t spoken to the person I’m writing to for quite a while, and I don’t know HOW to word it :/ Some people it’s very easy to write to because you have something that connects you personally. But if you don’t have a very strong connection other than just being relatives and generally getting along, how??
I want to write to her, it’s just hard. *deadpan
Doesn anyone else overthink every single wording when you write letters?
The Gathering - Nighttime Birds (by MiRRaGe1)
Wonderful Nighttime Birds. Love that song so much.
I’ve started listening to The Gathering a lot lately, such magical music…
We’re working on a cover of Strange Machines, the plan is to play it live in a couple weeks… the concert will be recorded and if it turns out alright maybe I’ll dare to post it here… :/
Sometimes I feel like maybe I don’t love anybody.. I mean sure I deeply care about some people and feel connected with them, but there are times when I have to question whether I REALLY actually love them. Because if I could really choose and not be classified as a loner, I would rather be by myself than spending time with anyone.
I just can not understand this. I NEED people. When I isolate myself I go crazy. I think too much, get lost in bad thought patterns, lose perspective, lose my stride, lose my way. Walk in circles. I also lose sight of the future. Things seem pointless. I get confused about who I am.
For me, isolation led to Depression, shrinks and medication. And boy did I learn…
Which means, I can’t help but think that the reason why there are so many unhealthy INFP’s writing these confessions, is because they don’t realize that they DO need people. And that all INFP instincts aren’t healthy. You need to fight to move forward and grow as a person.
So I visited this website, linked by Anne Rice on her facebook wall.
And it got me thinking about this stuff again.
—
Everybody doesn’t believe in God in the same way.
Their logical mistake this website is making is that they’re assuming that the Bible defines God.
(Why would they assume that if they don’t believe in it?)
And since the bible isn’t true then God can’t exists.
But, what if the Bible doesn’t define God? What if the Bible isn’t true? That doesn’t necessarily mean that God doesn’t exist.
Take the question: Why does God allow pain and illness and misery? Why doesn’t he do something?
Well I think, If that was the point with God, then he would have already.
Since he doesn’t, then I’m assuming that that is not the point with God.
Maybe we’re all a big experiment?
We really have no idea why we exist.
Personally, I’m guided by my own morale.
And some of the things in the Bible, said to be the word of God, seem highly wrong to me. They seem “not good”.
Sometimes I feel like the me on the inside is INFP (sometimes even INTP), but the me on the outside is ESFP.
Does that make sense?
